Thursday, March 28, 2013

Does This Garage Make My Car Look Fat?


A report from Les
          
      Back behind our modern (1960’s) detached garage is the original 1909 Carriage House that’s big enough to hold - let’s say . . . a VW Beetle.  It was originally built for horse drawn carriages which were the typical SUV’s of the day.  Later on the homeowner may have had a Ford Model T which also fit nicely in the same space.  When we bought the place we could see the carriage house was warped and the outside siding was swollen, but we just figured that was a sign of being 104 years old.  The day before we took possession, an exterminator was called in by the previous owners to treat the carriage house. They discovered that the walls had apparently been the place of choice for a swarm of honey bees . . . for years . . . maybe decades.
                It seems the bulging walls were not caused by the affects of weathering on those aging boards at all, but that the walls were full of honeycomb!  He advised that all this be removed before the bees came back in spring.  He said “they WILL come back.”
 
A Whole New Meaning to “Honey Do’s”
 
            A friend came over this past Monday to lend a helping hand at whatever I wanted to work on, so we did some debris cleanup and stacked boards from last week’s shed demo site.  Then I decided it would be a good use of his time to help me tear out the bee hive wall on the carriage house – after all, spring was upon us and I knew the bees would be returning to Capistrano.  No bees were in site and it was a good day to execute the plan.
            We tore off most of the back wall of the carriage house which was the side where Bee Ground Zero was.  We couldn’t believe our eyes as we unveiled a ginormous hive that was about 3 feet wide, 3 feet tall, and 6 inches thick, o-o-o-o-o-ozing honey out the bottom.  Too bad the hive had been treated back in December because this mother-load of localized honey was worth a fortune.  We tossed the boards into the trash trailer.
            We had no other option but to pull the honeycomb out by hand (with gloves of course).  Based on how heavy a chunk about the size of our hand was, we estimated the hive to be 100 pounds or more.  I never saw so much golden honey, and it broke my heart because I’ve been buying locally produced honey this past year and I know how expensive it is.  After a couple of hands-full of this sticky ooze, we realized we had a problem.  We had to do something special to dispose of it because it was too messy to try and bag it, and we couldn’t just dump it in the garbage can or in the trash trailer.  Heck . . . it would go everywhere because it was already going everywhere!
 
How About a Honey Hole
 
            The best thing we could come up with was to dig a hole . . . a big hole.  There was enough hive-n-honey to fill a wheel barrow, so by the time it all got dumped in and covered over, it looked like we buried a person.  Sounds like a murder mystery for sure:  you know, a recent grave located out-of-sight behind the old shed, having the suspicious markings of some kind of foul play.  Well, there was a mass killing that took place when the exterminator killed the colony of bees.  So, I guess a grave is fitting.
            Thankfully, honey washes off easily so our gloves, shoes and tools were saved in the aftermath.  Not a trace of guilt left.  Except for one thing.  The trailer.
 
 
Calling All Bees
 
            Yep, they returned the very next day . . . with friends.  Apparently they sent out the memo on beehive.com to all available honey bees to come back and start a harassment campaign on these murderers.  Remember the sticky/oozy boards we tossed in the trailer?  Well, they seem to be a kind of “batman logo” in the honey bee sky.  The trailer is buzzing with activity.  I’m wondering if I can safely haul this bee hive on wheels to the landfill and unload it fast enough without getting stung several thousand times?  J

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